I felt it....People judging you for not
going through that transformation with ease when you're trying to bravely face the uncomfortable parts and not run from it... People getting upset because you're not facing the dark with a smile on your face while you're still looking for the light in yourself. I was so afraid to express how I truly felt because I thought that it would make people angry and uncomfortable. I believed that it would cost me my few friendships and peace of mind. You see, people have expectations , which are not bad, but sometimes those expectations limit us from expressing ourselves deeply. My confidence took a hit every time I was confronted with a situation where people asked me questions about how I felt... Social anxiety sufferers, hello! .
Then, of course, you begin to question your worth. People want to make you feel broken, instead of allowing you to be patient with yourself. Society automatically labels you with depression, instead of understanding that your situation just lacks love and support. No wonder there are so many lonely people with self esteem issues, unhappily wondering if they are worthy of being loved and accepte, as they are. No, girl, you don't have depression. You need a deep rest from the bull. No, you're not broken. You just seem to be hurting and that wound needs some attention. .
Lying to myself wasn't worth it when I realized that I pretending costed too much energy. Preparing sweet songs to sing into people's tired ears became too much when I just needed someone to listen to me talk. Then, I realized that I had been trying to be too many things for the comfort of others and the day I didn't want to be anything different for anyone else, I felt free. .
Did it cost me relationship? Yes. But you have to have self esteem so high that you KNOW you are still loveable, worthy, and valued. Did it cost me peace? At first, yes, but you have to have confidence so high that you speak with honesty, no matter what, so that your truth for that moment is released and no longer haunting you. You cannot be afraid anymore to be yourself. Don't you see... (continued in comments 🔻)