Don’t let these tiny squares fool you. 😉 I don’t know who else struggles with this, but I often feel an enormous amount of mom guilt for NOT ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT WITH MY KIDS. Like honestly, I don’t enjoy about two thirds of my time with them awake. That 1/3 of the time is amazing, and 100% of the time they’re asleep, I adore them! 🤣 But my oh my, that other portion, is
H A R D ! Yet, there is a ridiculous amount of pressure out there to “Soak it up! Enjoy every minute because they grow so fast!” Well, I’m here to call BS on that if it stresses you out, dear fellow mom who struggles. [ If you’re a mom who likes parenting 💯 of your kids’ waking hours, then I celebrate you & your family. This post is not for you. ] .
I KNOW my three kids are precious gifts from the Lord, & I LOVE them deeply, but I don’t always LIKE to parent them. I was beginning to drown in guilt & shame that I’m some kind of defective, awful, ungrateful, unfit mother. (Because shame loves the darkness, I also felt like I needed to hide this, so then it got bigger, & the fruit from the shame tree is a lot of discouraging anxiety.) 🤭🤫😓I was headed down an entirely bad path in my head & heart. I’m so thankful that God has taught me to seek HIM through His Word so His Truth can speak louder than lies. .
My God, in HIS rich love & mercy, set me up first with Psalm 139, reminding me how He created me, He created them, He loves us deeply, He thinks about us constantly, & He never ever leaves us. Then I read this: “Search me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” ~Psalm 139:23-24 I stopped, with tears, & prayed, “God you see this anxiety I am having over parenting. Lord, I love them, I just don’t want to screw them up. I’m trying so hard to parent in a way that points them to you, but also teaches them boundaries, & discipline. Does this offend you?” I felt the Father’s love & my eyes landed back on my Bible. The proverbs verse pictured set me FREE! Kids ARE foolish & rebellious as a direct result of sin nature! Thus, it IS naturally painful & joyless sometimes. Shame OFF! Reality = joy + struggle coexist. 🥰